Monday, June 11, 2012

Dearest Marcia


Those of you who have followed Marcia's recovery odyssey may recognize this picture from her CaringBridge web site.  When I I first saw this picture it, essentially, frightened me.  I have never seen a picture of Marcia with her eyes speaking to me so volumesously.  I did not understand what she was saying but in hindsight I have some ideas.

The picture was taken while she was at Camp Noel Porter.  Camp Noel Porter is the Episcopal Diocese of Northern California summer camp program for children.  Doing one week stints over the summer with the various age groups was one of Marcia's favorite ministries.  As might be expected she was loved and brought various spiritual experences to the children.  The most enduring was her creation of the labyrinth walk in the Camp Noel Porter parking lot.  Almost every summer after the initial painting of the labyrinth walk she would insititute a repainting as the Tahoe winters were hard on the image.

This past summer Marcia was working with the teenagers.  One of their activities is to take a hike.  Marcia has always participated in camp activities and she and Lizzie went along on this hike.  She only went as far as her energy level would take her.  She took this self portrait while resting and waiting for the teen hikers to return to her.  I believe it was taken with her iPhone.

My first reaction was fear. I asked her when this picture was taken and she told me the above story as related in the preceding paragraph. 

Over 6 months has passed since I started the above entry and while going through iPhoto I came across the picture again and immediately saw the joy in her eyes. 

The first paragraph was written by a grief stricken husband. I still experience sadness when experiencing a memory, or someone else's grief or a picture, but the fear behind losing a loved one is more or less abated. I write no more about this picture. I have seen both sides now and its clouds illusions I recall.

I miss you Marcia.

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